Living in a Movie

I do apologize. Nothing like writing about a trip almost 2 months later. Thank goodness for notes.

Sunday July 31 we left London by train for Edinburgh. It was about a four hour train ride and very relaxing. We got to watch much of the countryside whiz by. When we arrived at the train station in Edinburgh, it was much cooler than London. We caught a taxi which took us to our Airbnb which was the smallest in our travels. It was a one bedroom just below Edinburgh castle. Again we had flights of stairs to maneuver with luggage. This location had a separate dryer for clothes unlike the normal washer/dryer combo that is so common in the UK. Things wash fine but the drying in the combos, are just useless. I thought by having a separate dryer it might work better. Alas this was not the case because the machine basically vented into a unventilated closet. So if you wanted a sauna it was great, but for drying clothes not so much. The shower was a unit too where you had to push a button and it was like a tankless water heater but much more finicky. Unfortunately for Steve he tried it out and found it to be scalding. I had better luck though and was able to set the temperature for the rest of us for our stay at this locale.

Edinburgh was where Grace got to try gluten free fish and chips. They were quite good. On Monday August 1 we went to see the decommissioned royal yacht Brittania. It was quite lovely though seeing all the twin beds, even for the soveign, struck me as odd. Of course this said by an American who loves her King bed. That afternoon we went to Edinburgh castle which was just above where we were staying. They had set up a bleacher system for 8800 people as in a few days they were to have the Tattoo. This is a festival of sorts where various piping bands come and march. It was quite remarkable as the castle is on the outcropping of sorts and the road that leads up to it is rather narrow, so as you approach you had to walk under these bleachers that were like something you would find in a baseball stadium. The castle had lovely views but the Scots do like to discuss their war history and to be honest the tour focused on that a bit which I found dull. At least in England there are more stories of people being locked up, decapitated or run off. Scotland is all about manly running out your enemy.

We had our one bad food experience in Edinburgh when after calling ahead to a restaurant to see if they had gluten free options they said they did. When we got there and were seated and asked again, then ended up refusing to serve Grace because of her Celiac. I found out later that there had been a major case a few years back at a chain that we have in the states. I’ve seen them in New York. It was a Pret ‘a Manger that had served a young woman some food that ended up being cross contaminated with peanuts. She ended up dying from this. Apparently this was quite a big thing in the UK and they are EXTREMELY sensitive to food allergies. Someone I told about the reception we received at this restaurant said they must not have a very well run kitchen as most kitchens can deal with this. It was definitely something that took us aback though. I will say that overall in every restaurant we were in, they actually knew what Celiac was. Not something that is always the case here at home.

Tuesday August 2nd we went to Hollyrood which is the seat of the Queen (now King) in Scotland. We didn’t go into the buildings but ended up hiking up to Arthur’s Seat. It was more due to my desire to get outside more while in Scotland. I wanted to get more out into nature. We ended up going on a hike when we were in Glasgow, which I will get to later, but while in Edinburgh, this was our self-guided hike. Thankfully we started early enough. I will say over the last two years of Covid I have gotten quite out of shape since my gym closed. I made it up the hill but was passed by many Germans and Swiss. It was actually quite amusing when we did hike that we would get passed up by the Germans and Swiss. They do like their hiking. Thankfully they aren’t obnoxious about it like Americans can be. I did meet someone at the top wearing a Dillon Beach sweatshirt who was from Sacramento. Always fun to see what a small world it is when one travels. Who knew so soon after our travels that Edinburgh would be so in the news on the death of the Queen. It was quite something to have just seen so many places that were mentioned when we got home and watched some of the send off for the Queen.

Steve did manage to do a whisky tour at a place known locally as “malt Disney”. They have a little ride in the barrels they use for aging scotch that takes one through the history of whiskey making in Scotland. He tried a few but wasn’t really a fan. I don’t drink anymore so I just skipped and Grace and I did a little souvenir shopping. That evening we did go to the “Camera Obscura” which was much like an Exploratorium like we have in San Francisco. It was a bit smaller though and everything was vertical as that is how things are built in older cities. It was a bit crowded though as was much of Edinburgh. In a couple of days after we visited the Fringe Festival was to start. This is a festival of comedy, music and other performances that draws people from around the world. Maybe before the pandemic and when I was 20 years younger I would have been more up for it, but this trip I was looking for something a little slower. Thankfully we were going to spend an extra day in Glasgow visiting the daughter of some friends of ours who was there for graduate school. That an cooler weather still as well as our first serious rain was to greet us the next day after a much shorter train ride.

That night we went to bed and the castle was alive with those practicing for the Tattoo. It was around 9:30 PM and you would hear some singing like Enya then bagpipes than quiet. We got ready for bed. Again around 10:00 PM more singing with a break then more bagpipes. We all got into our beds. 10:30, singing, bagpipes then a break. God I hoped this wasn’t going to go on all night. The locals must love this every night for a month. Finally approaching 11:00 PM, singing, bagpipes and…explosions. Apparently they were testing out the fireworks as well. They stopped after that. Thank God. I won’t be moving to Edinburgh that is for sure.

Sorry to leave those hanging on our travels in London. We had a bit of heat wave this past week which honestly, was brutal. At it’s peak it got to 112 at our house and then our power went out. We were okay for a few hours (it went out at 4:00 PM on Monday the 5th), but by 7:30 PM, we made the decision to get a hotel room with working power and AC. The power ended up coming back on at 11:30 PM, but we were in bed in our hotel with our lovely cool, albeit loud AC.

Of course later in the week we saw the passing of the queen which has been interesting as it has gone to show many places we were on our trip recently. Especially while she lies in state at Hollyrood in Edinburgh, Scotland. So many photos of where we were just a few weeks ago, it is somewhat remarkable to watch.

When I left our tour last though, we were heading out to Leavesden, where we spent the day on the Warner lot that has been turned into a massive facility for the props, sets, costumes and art from the Harry Potter movie series. It really was amazing and if you have any interest whatsoever in the stories or in film making, it really is worth a visit. The artistry is remarkable. My daughter who is an aspiring animator particularly liked the concept artwork that was toward the end of the tour. I was a big fan of many of the props especially the sparkly scales that were all made for scenes in Gringots. (The goblin run bank for the uninitiated.)

You would think we would rest after that day but instead we went to see Wicked that night. Steve and I already had years ago in New York, but Grace had recently become aware of it so we went so she could enjoy.

Saturday we went to Portobelo Road which is this huge outdoor market. I ended up getting a nice necklace that Steve bought me for our 21st wedding anniversary. Grace found a store that hand paints white canvas shoes near Portobelo road. We didn’t pick up any while we were there, but have since ordered a pair which are supposed to arrive this Monday. Check out kokoart.com if you are interested. It really is an amazing shop. I wish we had them locally.

Well the weather has cooled some. We are now back to the 80s and it is a bit humid. The smoke is back too from fires in the Tahoe area (the Mosquito fire), but hasn’t gotten to the same state as a couple years ago, yet. I promise to write more as we get into our travels to Scotland. I apologize if this cut it short a bit. I have to look into making some art lesson plans as I’m hoping to volunteer to run some art appreciation classes for the 8th grade this year. That and redesign my life, but that is for another time.

Thanks for reading! And yes, I know I owe pictures.

Tuesday was the hop on/off bus in London. This was a great way to get around and enjoy parts of the city from above ground without driving ourselves which would have been dangerous for both us and the people of London. We were staying near Earl’s court and the spot to catch the bus was quite nearby so we were able to walk. Once on we of course went to the top where it was open. There was a lot of construction going on in the city that day so we ended up going a slightly different route than normal. It was quite circuitous but since our final destination was Saint Paul’s we got off there and decide we would figure the rest out later.

Steven had researched and found that you could climb the dome, which seemed like a different and cool thing to do. We poked around the cathedral for a bit until we found where we needed to go. After purchasing ticket we began our ascent. At first it is relatively wide stairs that curl upward. We were on the same stairs where those who had been up would come down, but since it was earlier in the day there were more of us ascending. The higher we got the narrower the stairs. But then we came to the lower landing where you can go outdoors. Grace was unusually anxious as I’m the one who is most likely to get spooked by heights. She later told us the open structure of the dome made her anxious about it’s integrity. We later found out it had managed to survive the Blitz during World War two so we suspected it would be okay for our ascent. As we continued to climb the stairs became a metal spiral staircase. Again, not my favorite, but there were plenty of places to hold on and I really wasn’t worried about falling. Grace became more comfortable but not without some encouragement. When we reached almost the top, there was a little square cut into a landing where you could look all the way down to the bottom. After taking a quick glimpse we finished our ascent to look out over London. It was quite overcast this day. Much different than the prior and we thought we might actually get the normal rain of London. We enjoyed the view and then descended. It was odd how it felt so different going down than coming up. Once we reached the bottom we ended up exploring a bit more. There was a service in session. The Anglican/Episcopalian service is so identical to the Catholic you could easily mistake the two, except of course the woman minister who was running it was a dead giveaway.

We went through the crypt and ultimately came out. There was a pizza place nearby that had been recommended to us as they had gluten free pizza. We had a very good lunch and when done, it had started to rain. I had run to a nearby sporting good store to buy a rain jacket, but of course once I purchased it, the rain stopped.

We got back on the bus and worked our way to the pier near where we had ridden the Eye, as there was a short boat ride include in our bus tour. We were back near the house of Parliament waiting to catch the bus up to Piccadilly as that night we were off to see “Matilda”. The bus however was running behind and when it finally showed up was too packed to let us on. We decided once again to get on the Underground to go grab an early dinner before the show. Both Steve and I had seen it, but thought Grace would enjoy.

The theater district was a bit of a madhouse. Most were not masking at this point and you would have thought we never had a pandemic. Steve, Grace and I were still masking on public transportation and whenever we were inside anywhere for any length of time. We had already known a few friends who had come back from Europe with Covid, and we very much wanted to be healthy for the rest of the trip.

While at Matilda though, Steven sat next to a woman who was coughing constantly. There with her family he was tempted to ask if she was ill but of course did not. Instead he pulled out a second mask. Fortunately we all survived and did not get ill. The show of course, was marvelous. We were going to grab a taxi, but ended up taking the Underground because it was so much easier.

Wednesday we had hired a driver to take us to see Oxford and the Cotswold’s. We ended up seeing more of Oxford including a brief sojourn by myself to buy some shoes. The Cotswold’s were lovely but we ended up spending most of the time in the car. We did have a lovely pub lunch and my feet certainly were grateful for the break, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit disappointed. I think the Cotswold’s need a bit closer attention though admittedly you could find similar architecture in other parts of England that haven’t become quite as overrun by tourists.

Thursday we went to the Churchill War rooms which was a request by Grace. She has become rather interested in World War 2. It was fascinating but I think I was also in need of a bit of a break. That afternoon though we went to the Lanesborough hotel which is quite posh. It seems to have a large middle eastern oil money clientele of which we clearly are not. They did offer a lovely afternoon tea themed after the show Bridgerton. They also had a fully gluten free tea offering which was practically identical to what Steve and I had which made the experience all the more fun. It was really lovely to find people in both England and Scotland were much more aware of allergies than here in the states. They even know what Celiac is where as here you mention it, people often stare blankly at you. The tea was truly the most expensive meal we had the entire trip, but was so lovely and such a nice break from all our touring, it was worth every cent.

As we were leaving there was a white Rolls Royce SUV parked in front of the hotel that had Kuwaiti plates. A fellow from the hotel was wiping it down as we walked by and as we did I said “wow, subtle” as whomever the owner of this vehicle was, they clearly wanted to show off how much money they had. The chap wiping though said in a very matter of fact way, “Eh… It is just another car,” and gave us a wink. I do love the dry sense of humor and laughed appreciatively as we searched out our next tube station. Tonight we would dine in at our flat as we were all a bit worn out. Tomorrow we were off to Leavesden for the Harry Potter tour, which did not disappoint.

I realize I haven’t written in a bit. I started writing something last month when it would have been Mom’s birthday, but my heart wasn’t into it.

We went on a fantastic trip at the end of July and early August. We spent a week in London and then went on to Edinburgh and Glasgow in Scotland. I walked about 6 miles every day. Some days more. I haven’t walked like that since I got back because my feet hurt so much. Seriously, bunions are no joke. I’m grateful I had the perfect shoes (thank you Merrell’s) but had to start wearing sandals that don’t go across my foot when I got home to give them a break.

We thankfully got to London a week after it had been 104. I don’t do well with heat at home where I have air conditioning so was a little nervous about it in London where they are not set up for heat. Fortunately it had dropped to the 80s by the time we got there. Complete exhaustion and a fan did wonders at helping me sleep. It dropped further while we were there so that it was bearable.

Having grown up in a very temperate climate, I do much better when temperatures range overall from 50-85 at the highest. The 70s are my ideal with 60s the next. Humidity at higher temperatures is a particular challenge. As I get older, I’m not one of those people who wants to move where it is warm all the time. Florida with it’s humidity and alligators sounds like an utter nightmare. Let alone its politics. I suspect I’m much more suited toward Oregon, Washington, Massachusetts or Rhode Island. Somewhere with a little snow in the winter and a coastal climate. Living in California has become a bit tenable as I get older. The heat, fires, and honestly increasing expense makes me think I may want to look elsewhere.

But back to our trip. We left out of SFO on Saturday July 23rd. The 6:30 PM flight was long but oddly manageable. I haven’t been to Europe in almost 30 years. Steve and I have never travelled outside the US together, unless you count Vancouver, which we don’t. At SFO we experienced facial recognition in its full glory which is both extremely cool and somewhat terrifying. Even Grace passed through with Steve and I on either side. Customs hasn’t changed much. Someone looks at you, glares at your passport, but now you get scanned through. Unless you are travelling with a 13 year old then they want to be sure that she really is your child.

Our flat in London was great. We actually took the Underground from the airport and it was about a half mile walk. The only problem? Lugging our luggage up five flights of stairs when you have major jet lag. We did manage though and once in the apartment were pretty happy. The most important thing was it was quiet at night for sleeping. But first, we were off to dinner.

We went to this place Steve had seen on Stanley Tucci’s show. It is Italian (shocking I know) but the menu is put together by Italian mothers visiting from Italy. It was quite good and a great way to start the trip. That said I was in bed early and slept like a rock. Even with a window open and fan blowing on me, I didn’t stir until the morning.

The next day we were off to the Tower of London and the Super Bloom that is going on for the Queen’s Jubilee. I was worried that after the unusual heat in the last week that all the flowers might have died, but they were still there. Mostly wild flowers, including the California poppy which made an appearance. The bloom was in the moat around the Tower. The moat has been dry for years but it was actually a cool thing. The Brits love to garden and it was fun to observe this. After this we went inside to the Tower and stayed for 4 hours. We didn’t even see everything but we did see the jewels and got some history in. I think Grace enjoyed it too.

That evening we did the Eye. The last time I was in London it didn’t exist. I knew it was a super touristy thing to do but I wanted to. Another long line and soon we were in an enclosed bubble with 20 other strangers unmasked. Mind you throughout this trip we masked on public transit, when we were indoors and especially on the Eye. It was fun but by the time it was done I was tired and just wanted to go back to the flat. Nothing like hiking up 5 flights at the end of the day to really get you ready for bed.

Tuesday we were to do a hop on/hop off bus tour and climb the dome of St. Paul’s cathedral. More to come…

It has been three months today since Mom passed. I think some feel I have moved on, but I certainly have not. I have always been a pretty faithful person and while Mom was alive (pre-pandemic anyway) I still went to church. Between my brother and I, well I was still the “practicing” Catholic. I went to church. I tried to be a good person, tried to pass on the good things about my faith to my child. The pandemic though definitely put the brakes on that. We stopped going to mass in person, except when they still had it outdoors. And then it was when they had the major feasts outdoors. We have been a couple of times since things have been strictly indoors, but I’d be lying if I said I haven’t lost my faith. Well, my faith in the religion part anyway, not in the God part. I always took the religion part as a structure I was taught and mostly enjoyed. But things got political. The pandemic got political. Religion got more political and it was and is exhausting.

Meanwhile, Mom passed. I miss her terribly but gave her the Catholic send off I believe she would have loved, with the possible exception of my right wing cousin who felt it necessary to receive communion on the tongue practically prostrate on the ground. Pissed me off. So self centered putting the priest in a compromised position when he needs to stay healthy. One of the reasons we receive by hand these days. But I digress.

Work, a small liberal arts college which is also Catholic, was a struggle. The school is under a great deal of pressure. My boss, the CFO, is now resigning at the end of September. She couched it as her decision, but I’m not really sure that is the case. I didn’t say this though as she presented it as such so… here we are. Once again another speed bump in 2022. Smaller than others but there nonetheless.

On the other side of life my husband has been prepping a wonderful couple weeks in the UK for the three of us; him, daughter, and myself. I only recently have been looking forward to it. He is still concerned about Covid particularly since daughter is off to sleep-away camp for three nights less than a week before we leave. She hasn’t been able to go for the last two years though and we really want her to enjoy so fingers are crossed.

It has been a challenging few years. I try to keep my head up, but I can tell dear hubby is frustrated with our current state of affairs, though we are all doing our best. I am going through some change myself, but don’t know what will come out the other end so it seems hard to share with anyone these days. This blog post is probably the closest I’ve come.

Life is indeed a journey. I try my best as do we all in whatever circumstance we find ourselves. It will be interesting to see the next chapter, assuming we all survive the transition.

So you would think after 2 years of Covid, then my Mom being ill and passing, I’d be kinda done. Which admittedly I am. I was happy to be back at work though it has been stressful because it is budget season and, well I support the CFO. But then last Thursday, our Controller came down with Covid. Yeah, you know where this is going. She then came in Friday, masked etc. and stayed in her office. Honestly we had started to not wear masks in the office any more and it felt really great. But once she came down with a case I started masking again. Too late. Today I tested positive. On the plus side I had been masking. I had been coughing like an idiot but had chalked it up to seasonal asthma that sometimes kicks in with my hayfever. I had had a rough night and used my inhaler but it didn’t really help. Today I was spraying my nose and taking the allergy pills. I was masked at work. Well by the end of the day I was feeling pretty crummy. I had tested on Friday after I heard about my co-worker, and again yesterday, Monday. Then I came home took my temp. 100.5. Uh oh. I NEVER get a temperature and generally run sub-normal. Test taken and second little line started to appear after about 8 minutes. Awesome. So, here is where I’ll be. I feel crummy. Low grade fever, aches, cough that I can’t shake that totally wears me out. After 5 days I’ll test again. Already burned through all my sick time though taking care of Mom and was hoping to save my vacation time for trip back East for Steve’s Father’s Day, and trip to London and Scotland later in the summer. We shall see though.

2022 can suck it.

My dad passed when I was in my senior year of college. He had been ill briefly but had not led the healthiest life. My mom had told me one night when I was about to leave on a date, that she thought Dad was going to die and felt I should know. I was annoyed because, that was a big piece of news and honestly did she have to tell me when I was going out? I was 22 at the time. I was having a life when he died but I was living at home so I’d see him but there were always people around the house which honestly was exhausting.

With Mom, she was 97. I knew we were on borrowed time. Since September when she was given the diagnosis of aortic stenosis, and not a candidate for TAVR (go ahead and google it) we knew we had about a year if we were lucky. We got 7 months including one of the best Christmases ever.

When she fell on March 13th, I honestly thought it would be a week, but it ended up being a month. It was sad and hard and stressful. I almost thought at one point she would bounce back, but she didn’t.

I did get to hold her hand though. For a month! I got to tell her I loved her and even after her stroke she said she loved me and that meant the world to me. But life was going to need to keep going and I was going to need to get back to work. I told her that I’d have to go back on April 25th. Charlie had gone back to LA for his daughter’s 9th birthday and they were all driving up on the 10th of April for Spring break. Charlie and I even discussed if he should bring a suit and I wasn’t sure but in the end said yes. They all should bring clothes, just in case.

On April 10th, they got a late start and Mom’s breathing wasn’t great. I kept telling her 6 more hours Mom and Charlie will be here, 3 more hours, 30 minutes. He walked in the room around 8:47 PM, said hi to Mom and gave her a kiss. I was crying, grateful he made it. He texted his wife at 8:51 saying he didn’t think Mom would last the night. By 8:56, she was gone.

I know I’m incredibly lucky. I had a mom until I was 55 and she started at 42!! She was smart, practical, stubborn, and wise. I got to hold her hand and talk to her and be with her at the end. My brother was able to be with her at the same time as me. So many people over the last two years weren’t that lucky. They weren’t able to hold their loved one’s hand or just talk to them.

But now she is gone and part of me thinks I should be grateful but I’m not. I’m confused to be honest. I was mentally ready for this and my heart hurts, which I knew it would but that faith I had when my dad passed isn’t there. I don’t know where Mom’s spirt is. If there is a heaven, she would deserve a pretty good seat. But I’m not feeling it. I don’t know if it is because I’m older and more, cynical? I don’t know. I want her to be somewhere beautiful with all her old friends and a happier version of Dad and her parents. But I don’t know if I truly believe that anymore. I think this is one reason why I’ve had a hard time crying. I cried when she passed and I cry at weird times when I’m just thinking of her, but I don’t know. I know this world is a worse place without her, but I’m glad she doesn’t have to see what is going on in it anymore. But still I miss her. I miss her voice. I miss her smile. She had a great smile. It was her time. But I miss her.

Mom passed on April 10 at 8:55 PM. Her funeral was April 18. You can read her obituary here: https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/sfgate/name/jane-mccolgan-obituary?id=34280631

I’ll write more at another time. I go back to work April 25th as I’ve been off since March 14 when she had fallen. Thank you for your prayers.

It is criminal how much money you have to have to die well in this country. I’m grateful that my Mom set aside money for such things. My Aunt too (Dad’s side). Managing the facilities and resources for these individuals is just exhausting though. I can’t imagine what those with less resources do.

I’m grateful my brother and I are close. We have talked about long term care with my Mom for years. The conversation had come more into play in recent years as she is now 97. The thing is, we thought the end was imminent. My Mom however seems to have other plans. Even after being diagnosed with a life ending heart condition 6 months ago, and suffering a fall almost two weeks ago where she was left for over 12 hours, she still moves forward. She seems to have had a stroke which prevents her from walking and the use of her left arm. She has very limited speech, but continues to show us the lights are on upstairs, even if her body doesn’t know it.

My Aunt on the other hand has Alzheimer’s. She seems to still know me though although she spends most of her time in bed and eating cookies and Ensure for 9 months. She is in a board and care and I pay her fees through her account. In both cases it is a very lonely existence. While I’ve been visiting my Mom daily, I visit my Aunt a couple of times for about 5 minutes a month. Our conversations revolve around the weather. Honestly it is exhausting. While my Mom’s current set of circumstances have recently changed, I feel the same way for her as I do my Aunt. I truly wish they would pass. Painlessly and in their sleep, but the lives they are both living right now are awful. My Mom’s is slightly better because of my brother flying up to visit and my currently visiting daily, but still. This is no life. Bed ridden, with nothing to look forward to.

After my previous post a lot changed. That Sunday night we left Mom around 5:00 PM. That night my brother flew home to Los Angeles, and Monday morning I went to work. Around 11:15 AM, I called my Mom but didn’t get an answer. My brother had put in an Echo with video in her bedroom and an audio echo in her main room. I connected and saw lights on in her bedroom which are typically on in the evening. I also heard voices. I logged out and dialed into the one in the main room. The TV was on. I tried to call to Mom but I was at work and couldn’t really yell. I called my brother to see if he could and if we didn’t get a response we would contact the clinic at her facility. He didn’t and he called the clinic. They sent someone down to her room. They found her on her enclosed balcony. She had been there all night. We had them take her to the hospital. I got in my car and raced over. I live about 45 minutes from her and work about an hour from her.

When I got to the hospital I couldn’t get to her immediately. It probably took 45 minutes all told. When I did get to her she looked pretty banged up. She wasn’t talking. She was under a heat lamp and blanket that warmed her up. When she came in she had been rather cold. She had thrown up and they were concerned she had aspirated. She had bed sores starting from being on the ground so long.

I started to wonder why hadn’t she been checked on? The facility where she lives has little things on the doors that are used to check to see if anyone has come in or out from the previous evening. Her breakfast had been left on the table outside her door, which they did for residents over 90. They used to bring it inside before Covid, but that protocol hadn’t changed yet. Still, they should have checked her around 8:30 AM, but did not. This would have to be followed up at a later time.

I had already spoken to my brother, and he was already planning to fly back up. He would drive directly to the hospital. After wrangling with hospice about a antibiotic for the potential pneumonia from aspirating, I took her off hospice so she could be treated. Nothing major but antibiotics and having 24 hour care in the hospital overnight was completely appropriate right now even if it wasn’t in the hospice formulary. I was angry and frustrated and was having to make decisions I was prepared to make, but truly didn’t want to.

Mom was finally admitted around 7:00 PM and we were in a room around 7:30 PM. My brother arrived at 7:45 PM. While I waited for her, I spoke to a nurse Mom had. Tiara. She spoke of her Mom passing recently. She spoke of making decisions to look at things and why do you do tests if you know how you will react? She helped foment my reasoning for hospice and how to move forward with that decision because of and in spite of this event.

My brother and I spoke. It was after 8:00 PM. He was brought up to speed. He would stay with us as he had before. Tomorrow (Tuesday) we would make the plan and move forward. Tomorrow (3/15) was also my husband’s birthday.