I don’t generally consider myself vain. I’m a certain number of pounds overweight. Always have been. I work out regularly yet like food. I color my hair because society doesn’t like gray hairs, especially when you are looking for work. My child goes to a small private K-8 school because it is Catholic and that is what I am. I didn’t want to have to figure out the logistics of getting her to a weekly catechism class but preferred the idea of it being built in. Also, I was trying to avoid that horrid transition to middle school down the line. Lots of reasons that just worked for our family.
But as time goes by I find myself concerned about appearances in the oddest ways. It is the holidays and we celebrate Christmas. There is this doll that is called Elf on the Shelf that some families put out this time of year. For most, it started when they had little kids. An elf to keep an eye out for Santa to see if kids were good or not. We can all use some help this time of year in motivating positive kid behavior. Some parents would move it. Some kids even got little treats. Personally, I knew my aging brain would not be able to keep up and I didn’t have an end plan so just told my kid she was so good Santa didn’t send an elf to keep an eye on her.
But kids get older, as do parents. We all change. I so want to hold onto some of the magic of Christmas. My child hasn’t quite figured out the deal with Santa yet. I suspect though she is somewhat like me in this area. She doesn’t want to knock a good thing so won’t fess up to it if she has doubts. I was that kid. I milked it for a while. So why not ask about an elf? Hey her friends have it. She wants to feel special because she thinks having that elf is special. And what parent doesn’t want to make their kid feel special? Sure I do. But why?
The holidays, at least Christmas, in theory, is supposed to be about the birth of Christ. Over the years we have added Santa Claus from St. Nicholas. The history of how we moved from St. Nicholas to the current Santa Claus is very interesting and can be found here. The whole Elf on the Shelf is just another marketing tool for someone, certainly not parents, to make money. (Heck Elf on the Shelf got so popular they now have Mensch on a Bench for those who are Jewish. Talk about managing your market.)
I realize this sounds rather cynical, and I don’t deny that the idea of a toy watching kids when they are little isn’t fun (or creepy, but mainly fun). But as things happen these days we seem to go for the gadget to get to the lesson. I think Santa has held on for so long because who doesn’t want a little magic in their life? Also, kids could wait a month. Now though we have instant gratification. 30+ days of Christmas. The elf goes along with that. At least it gets it down to 24-hour behavior.
Our society is more secular now though, for better or worse. Our customs are adjusting to that. Some choose to believe that Christmas is remembering the birth of Christ and some choose to look at it as a holiday to share gifts and decorate trees. Whatever the motivation it should be a good thing that we are being kind to one another.
But many get sad or depressed during the holidays. It has become such a competition on many levels. I have to remind myself constantly why I celebrate. I fear this is what gets lost. The story of Jesus still has resonance today. A small family who maybe didn’t plan ahead for a trip get caught in a city with all the housing sold out. Not even an AirBNB option. Still an innkeeper seeing that the woman is heavily pregnant at least can provide a warm and dry place. No fancy accommodations here. But since “religion” often uses stories to push an agenda, faith doesn’t. I think this is what we forget. Christmas is about faith. Faith and hope. Hope for things to get better. People to be kinder. To learn. To change. Not always for the better and often with many missteps. Some people are better at change than others. Some use their money, power, influence to help but many don’t. This is what has happened even to Christmas.
So if you wonder why I don’t have an elf, it isn’t because I think I’m too good for it. Really I’m just lazy. And honestly, I’m kinda wanting to get back to that story about a baby in a manger, though I could also do with some new slippers.