Going into week 7

Hi all. I haven’t been writing as much. I’ve been busy but not the fun kind of busy. Working at a small liberal arts college these days is a bit depressing. I’m grateful I don’t have to make the decisions but everyone seems to have an opinion of what should be done. I know the leadership is working hard. They have taken pay cuts and are trying to keep cash on hand. It isn’t pretty.

At home, my husband finally let me give him a trim. When I pointed out one part that might need a little extra taken off, he ended up cutting a bit too much off in one spot. Most people wouldn’t notice but he does. Just glad it wasn’t me.

I went by the board and care where my Aunt is to cut her toenails. I went in the back way, masked and gloved. I only saw her and the care giver closed her door. I don’t think she fully realizes the passage of time. She did remember me, so that is a blessing.

I’ve been talking to my Mom who is in a retirement community. They aren’t allowing visitors, but it sounds like they at least can interact with each other from a distance. That makes me feel a bit better that she isn’t totally isolated.

Meanwhile at home we had a friend of my 10 year old, drop off a book with her mom who is a friend of mine. We hung out for an hour out front 10 feet apart. It was so nice to just talk to someone face to face. We so wanted to hug each other but of course didn’t. It is amazing how much I miss people. I wonder how settlers back in the day survived. I can understand how you made acquaintances along the way travelling and how the nearest neighbor was miles away. It kind of feels like that here in suburbia. We are seeing a lot more neighbors outside but it is amazing how many we don’t know.

We haven’t ordered out much. I am constantly wanting to get pizza but no one else does. I think I’m gaining weight in lock down while everyone else in the family is losing. I’m running three days a week. Well run/walking. I realize I weigh 25 pounds more since the last time I ran. I’m also 5 years older. The combination isn’t doing me any favors. My depression is somewhat under control while I continue to crave the carby serotonin goodness of sugar and bread. Sigh…

My daughter tells me how she wishes this was over. I tell her everyone does but I can’t tell her when it will be over. I feel we may have a bit of a respite over the summer, but I suspect we will be doing this again in the fall/winter. I don’t know what will happen with the school I work at. I hope they can stay open. The people and programs are great, but they aren’t Harvard with some amazing endowment. Education is changing a lot right now. I suspect when my daughter goes to college in 7-8 years college is going to look a bit different than it looks now. Just a hunch.

I don’t know when we will travel again. But that is a first world problem. I think of those who are still at the border looking for asylum but because of their skin color are being locked up and at such a greater risk than I am of catching this virus. I pray that this person leading our country is NOT re-elected. I place so much blame at his feet in this. I realize it would have been problematic for any administration, but this one… the ignorance and bravado of turning it’s nose up to science is mind numbing. And if you think it is great, well, thank you but I don’t need to hear it. You will never convince me that man can do anything right and I’ve given up on convincing you otherwise.

It is a sad world right now. I feel I should be writing more and better but I just write and wonder if it makes a difference to anyone. Even to myself. I love it when people respond with their thoughts, so if you feel so compelled (and are not trying to sell me some plugin that will make my site SO MUCH BETTER) please share. I do read the comments and will post them though it usually takes me a day or so to do that.

I personally can’t think much past June right now. I just don’t know what the future holds. I’m truly learning how to live one day at a time. I wonder what I’m learning. What others are learning. I know a pause is probably a good thing, but why? I need to learn something from all this, though what that is I don’t know. I like reading uplifting stories. I love celebrities who spread good stuff. John Krasinski is my new hero with SGN. But the real heros, as I’m sure he would agree, are the doctors, nurses, medical workers who are on the front lines. The scientists looking for the cure and those who are funding that science because that is where money should be going. That and for shelter for the homeless who are even more vulnerable.

But I’ll get off my soapbox. Even I get tired of my own voice and concerns. What makes you happy? I really do love watching movies. I just wish I could pick them a bit more often. I’ll save that for next time. In the meantime, stay safe and well. Wash your hands and wave to your neighbor.