Time is an illusion

This is something we have come to say a lot in these days of a pandemic. School is out. My daughter is home. My husband and I are both still working from home. Camps are mostly online. I had a fleeting thought of putting my child in one, but she wouldn’t know any of the kids. We have very tentatively opened our circle to two friends and their kids. My daughter has a friend in each of these families. One an only child like mine, the other the eldest of three. Both sets of parents are rather conservative about our interactions with others so we have felt pretty comfortable. We actually had one family over and the kids all played together while we sat and chatted. It was wonderful to look at people face to face.

Meanwhile my Mom, who turns 96 this July, is under house arrest of sorts at her retirement community. The community has instigated rules that require anyone who goes out to quarantine in their apartment for 14 days afterwards. I understand it as her community of 300+ are those most vulnerable. The management doesn’t want someone getting sick and killing off a quarter of the residents.

We have tried to convince my mother to make a hair appointment (she misses this most apparently) and then my brother or I could come get her. She could stay with us for a long weekend. We could make her some meals that she might enjoy (she isn’t a fan of the food at her facility). Then we would take her back and after the socializing, she could shut down for two weeks. She doesn’t want to go for it. My brother and I think it makes sense but she currently likes to be able to interact with her fellow residents in the confines of the facility. They go for walks around the various terraces, and can meet up, socially distanced of course, while picking up mail.

Additionally my Mom’s doctor who, still seems to make house calls, is concerned that my Mom isn’t eating enough. She has lost weight and my brother and I are concerned but need to find a solutions Mom will agree to. My brother is working on arranging bringing in the occasional dinner via Door Dash from restaurants my Mother has gone to in the past. While she has agreed, we have yet to be able to make this work.

I have an Aunt as well, who is in a board and care near where I live. I manage her affairs and she is not in great shape. She has dementia from Alzheimers. She gets a bit belligerent and stubborn. She doesn’t sleep much at night and hasn’t been eating well. It really is time for her to move on, to be honest, but apparently her body isn’t ready yet. She keeps saying she wants to be with her two sisters who have pre-deceased her. Her world has become so small. I used to take her to church once a week, but haven’t been able to since March. I don’t think she really understands what is going on. She needed blood-work done recently and we had to have someone come to the facility to do it. I then had a video appointment with her and her doctor. She didn’t understand who I was talking to. It is quite sad. I feel bad but there isn’t much I can do. My brother and I are her only living relatives at this point. She actually is a cousin of my father’s. Never married. No children. I’m happy I can help in the little ways I do, but I still think it isn’t enough.

Then there is work. My hours have been reduced during the summer. It beats being furloughed or laid off. The college I work for is opening in the Fall. They have to. Students living on campus are the main way to get revenue to keep the college going. The college is working with the county to maintain social distance among staff and students. It will be interesting in late August to see if it works. They will have in person, hybrid, and totally online classes. I don’t know how long I’ll be working at home. Right now I go in once a week for half a day to do the things I can’t do remotely. It is nice to see three or four people, but the mood is… anxious. As with everything these days you can’t look too far ahead because when you do, your mind starts to play games in the “worst-case-scenario” way.

Meanwhile, I’m safe with my husband and daughter. I’m grateful we all like each other. I haven’t been working out as I should. I had tried to run, but that didn’t work. I’m trying to “intermittent fast” these days but can only seem to get up to 14 hours between dinner and breakfast. I’m not really losing but I’m not gaining weight. I have at least tried to walk every few days for an hour. It burns off the stress. I either go in the morning around 7:00 AM or in the evening after 7:00 PM. The days have been warm so this makes it bearable.

My family and my brother’s family have rented a house with a pool in Kenwood near Sonoma, the first week of August. We are hoping that the county will lift the rules long enough for a change of scenery. It would be great to see my brother and sister-in-law, along with my niece and nephew. The kids could all play together too. Fingers crossed it works out. Otherwise, just trying to keep going. One day at a time.

Please share what you are up to in the comments if you made it to the end.

Stay well. Stay safe and wear a mask. The sooner we are all on board wearing masks the sooner we can get through this.