So I had a comment from a friend I’m not regularly in touch with who I had told I was writing on my blog again. He had read the few recent entries and said it was kind of dark. I didn’t exactly respond to this. I thought of comedians who go out into the world and try to live their lives. They go out to do day to day activities and then wonder when people meet them and wonder why they aren’t constantly cracking jokes. I wasn’t mad, just a bit incredulous. I mean, we are having a pandemic. Hopefully a once in a lifetime occurrence.
So I have still been working and am on a number of newsgroups that had been getting a number of negative posts about how the college was responding to the situation. It was seriously frustrating to read and was dragging down my morale which was already not so great. I ended up posting something. The prayer of Saint Francis. I reminded people that everyone was doing their best even though these actions aren’t always seen. I was fortunate to get a number of positive responses to this including one from one of the major critics of the activities going on. I reminded him that this situation is unprecedented. None of us have had to do this before in this country. A little kindness and perhaps less use of the reply all button was most appreciated. I haven’t heard back and don’t expect to but for now the tirades have lessened. I hope that sticks at least.
I’m honestly having a hard time working. I’m very distracted and don’t have a ton of work as my job is more day to day and forward facing. Much as I can get tired from talking to people all day, two weeks into this shelter in place, I’m ready to start talking again. I’ve tried to stay in touch with close friends and family via text and teleconference calls. My husband and I are still mostly getting along. Our 10 year old still seems amazingly resilient despite being away from her friends. I’ve played with her more than normal, but I don’t mind this. I’m grateful she isn’t a teenager during this. I would think that would be particularly difficult when so much of your world revolves around friends.
I’ve seen small clusters of teens and young adults on occasion. I feel like that old cartoon character in Dennis the Menace. The neighbor who was always mad about something. Or Clint Eastwood in that movie Gran Torino. “Get off my lawn!” I wouldn’t yell at them during normal times (except maybe the neighbor who likes to play basketball at 10 PM outside my bedroom window). But these days, man, just keep your distance. Hell today I was at Safeway, where one of the lone Starbucks are still open. I waited in line for a bit, but it was near the front entrance/exit and I kept trying to move out of the way. I finally left because I figured for once in my life my health isn’t worth a Grande Mocha. I do miss those. But it is probably a good thing that I’m not getting them nearly as often as I usually do.
So here I type, while my kiddo works on a crafts project humming tunes from “The Greatest Showman”. My husband is unloading the dishwasher. And here I type, grateful that for now, we are all safe and healthy. God willing we all stay that way.
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.