I wish I could just blame it on writer’s block. But these days it feels like life block. I want to write things that are uplifting but I’m not quite there. I’m having the challenge of not working for over a year. Yes, it was by choice that I left my last job, but somehow I thought I’d be back to work by now.
I like people but can be a bit reserved getting to know them. I’m an introvert though, those who have known me for any length of time might think otherwise. See once I feel comfortable, I may not shut up. Else, I kinda keep to myself. Groups over maybe eight people, intimidate me. I can do small-talk, but I often need a week to recover afterward.
Then there is the constant barrage of news these days of sexual harassment, particularly in Hollywood. It is so depressing since so many fun things can come out of such a creative place. One of my desires as a kid was to work in Hollywood behind the scenes. I didn’t want to be “famous”, I just wanted to work with creative people. I was fortunate enough to do so in my younger years. I miss that very much. It isn’t as if people can’t be creative in other fields too though. I worked at a National Lab for 12 years as an operational support person. But much of the science was WAAAYYYY over my head. I like stories. I like stories about people and their complexities. Science is great and explains much in this world. But there is more to the world than science too.
I want to see more art and storytelling valued. I love to read but am not the fastest reader in the world. Never have been. I like to know what moves people. I don’t want to just hear about the latest technology. Much of it is interesting, but I am the type of person who generally just wants to know the time, not how the clock is built.
So here I sit, at my keyboard. I have been searching for a job that brings joy to the world. That opens the mind to other ideas. One that looks at how something makes someone feel. One that pays okay wouldn’t hurt either. One that can let me see my husband and daughter in the evening at dinner. I wouldn’t mind traveling occasionally. I’m good at keeping things humming along. But I need a purpose outside of my family. My family is a fantastic purpose, but it would be nice to contribute financially too. I’m trying to make that happen, but the universe doesn’t seem to think it is my time yet. I wish it would give me a hint when that might happen.