When I was a kid we had no internet. People talk about playing with friends and riding bikes. I walked home from Kindergarten as a child. I don’t think my school was much farther away from where my daughter’s school is to our home today. The roads were much less traveled too. But she is older than Kindergarten and I wouldn’t let her walk home today.
When I walked home I would walk with two other boys. I remember getting yelled at for picking poppies for my Mom by a lady in the neighborhood. Today I would get yelled at for allowing my child to walk home.
My Mom didn’t work outside the home when I was a kid. My grandmother lived with us too. I haven’t been working for awhile now but I still can’t imagine letting my daughter walk home. I don’t think I could have her do it now with friends even. Maybe a few… But no other parent would allow it I suspect. Even if someone lived close enough.
When I was in junior high I remember riding 5 or so miles on my bike to school with some other girls. We didn’t have helmets. A lot of the way was a bike path so traffic wise it was relatively safe. I didn’t do it very often as I preferred riding alone. I won’t even ride my own bike on the roads anymore. There is too much traffic. Even wearing helmets it feels more… dangerous.
When I was a child we prayed for the U.S. Hostages in Iran. They were held captive for over 450 days as I recall. I remember tying yellow ribbons around trees. Today we pray for kids who are killed in schools. We talk about pulling ours out of school to protest but then worry that we are maybe pushing our agenda on our kids and decide not to. If they were in high school it would be different.
Today I didn’t work out because I was volunteering at my child’s school. Today I got coffee by myself afterward. I sat out on the bench in front and felt the cold air that is February in California. I know there are those in this country who can’t do that because it snowed last night. Not here. But I also know there are those who slept on the street last night. It may not snow but it does get into the 20s.
I go home to my empty house. I’ll look for a job again today. I’ll apply to a few and maybe continue to hear nothing but crickets. I’m doing my best. I want to be more of the sort who makes a change in the world. Who is part of the good. Sometimes I don’t know if I am. I continue to try and raise a child who is kind and loving. I try to support my husband when he comes home frustrated. I keep putting one foot in front of the other even though I feel like I’m not going anywhere. I try to be positive, to see the good and share my truth. I don’t even know if it helps anyone. Maybe it just helps me to share in the hope that someone reads this and is experiencing the same and knows they aren’t alone.
I remember being a child and wanting to grow up. Now I’m there and I wish I could still see what I thought was so great about it.
