Month: January 2018

Looking to be the change

So I continue my search for making the change I want to see in the world.  Right now the one area where I have the most control is myself.  I’m exercising, trying to stay up on current events without losing myself to depression, trying to eat healthily.  While not always succeeding, at least the Starbucks scrip purchases keep the numbers up for my child’s school, so I suppose that is something.

I’m attempting to meditate more.  That has been a bit hit and miss.  Translating it into my daily routine has been challenging but I’m getting there.  I haven’t written as much this past month, though I seem to have had a lot of interest in my opinion piece on the legalization of Marijuana.  Who knew?  I’m still learning WordPress, and am my most ardent critic when I find myself needing to learn more.

I have managed to connect more with people.  I value hearing the opinions and insights of others.  I’m constantly learning how difficult it can be to make real change.  We so often get bogged down in the discussion and rumination of problems.  The navel-gazing of my parents time has turned into the mobile phone gazing of ours.

It is strange how, now that I’m older, I find my greatest influence is in my family and listening to those around me.  The actionable items are so much more challenging in a time of tight budgets and armchair quarterbacks.

I’ve come to admire the entrepreneur who incorporates philanthropy.  The non-profit who manages forward in a greed induced world.  The ethical business person who does what is right despite “optics” to whatever generation is currently in vogue.

Lately, I have found some of the most effective changemakers, are Moms.  Dads too of course, but more often the Moms are the ones who are in charge of ushering kids here and there while keeping households running and finding time to do what empowers them.  Dads more often have the full-time job that can financially support the family.  This is not exclusively true, but still the greater norm.  If one parent is not working or is more in charge of the kid agenda, they by circumstance have to be more flexible.  They are the ones who manage to squeeze in chores, meals, ways to stay up on current events, be it jogging or driving with the latest podcast explaining how to build a micro-economy or following trends on Pinterest for the next fundraising activity.  These are not the sorts of activities that rise to a resume when a parent wants to return to the work-force.  It can be challenging to craft a CV that includes these “softer” skills, which quite frankly aren’t always so soft.

I am constantly amazed by those with more than one child who are able to do all these things, and work, and coordinate the perfect after school activity for entire classes.  And God forbid you add single parent into the mix.  Those are the true heroes out there.

Still, we all have our strengths and weaknesses.  While I may live in awe of the Mom who chauffers 4 kids to 5 events in one day, they may crave to be able to sit back and write and research the latest ways to eliminate chemicals from our food chain.  The furloughed teacher who coordinates after-school events for kids whose parents are working is often the resource that working parents are continually grateful for saving them when stuck late for a presentation.

Here is to the unsung heroes out there doing there best to raise the next generation.  Be the parent working, with the kid in after-school care, or the Mom or Dad running the monthly scouting meeting.  You are the change.  Thank you for what you do.

Legalized Pot as a parent

Today I was coming out of Starbuck’s with my decaf Americano and go to get in my car.  In the car parked next to me, are a girl and boy.  I don’t think they are 21 but I pause getting in because I see the girl putting “away” a bong.  I look at them with a kind of “now I’m a Mom” look of “what the hell are you doing”? Then I realize, wait marijuana is now legal in this state.  I think about this for a minute as I get into my car and remember, it is but you have to be 21.  I’m thinking these kids aren’t 21, but maybe I’m wrong.  I don’t judge younger ages as well as I used to.  Still, they shouldn’t be doing that then driving.  That I know is illegal.  But what do I do? Nothing.  I called the police once after e-cigarettes were a thing to tell the dispatcher that I saw someone driving and smoking what appeared to be an illicit substance but of course was questioned if it wasn’t just an e-cigarette.  At the time I said something like, “I think I know the difference.  I went to college after all.” Looking back on that now, I feel pretty dumb.  Maybe it was an e-cigarette, though I really don’t think it was.  Now with marijuana legal, I’ll have to step back on my civic duty I suppose.

Look I get people taking it for medicinal reasons or even at home for fun.  I just don’t really want kids driving around with water pipes smoking outside of Starbuck’s.  I know there is a 20 foot limit, but what about next to my car when my eight-year-old is with me?  I’m already trying to figure out how to address drugs and alcohol as a parenting topic.  Not to put the fear of God in her, but hopefully, avoid opiates?  How does one parent through this stuff?  How do you tell a kid now that marijuana is legal but not something you should do at least until you are older?

My parents didn’t really talk to me about this sort of thing.  Alcohol, drugs, sex, dating were all topics I had to learn on my own.  The only guidance was “no sex until marriage”.  I know how well that went, so I’d really like to be able to have an open conversation with my child.  I also don’t want to scare the bejezus out of her.  Right now she is naive, and I’d like to hold onto that as long as possible.  I don’t want her to be ignorant though, and I don’t want her to just learn from her friends.  Not that her friends aren’t nice people, I’d just like a sliver of input if at all possible.

Now I’m off to Google it, though strictly relying upon the internet for this topic seems not terribly unlike smoking pot in front of a Starbuck’s.  Not the best idea.